Throughout the last week there have been many things happen that I could write about in this week’s blog. From taking time out to check out the Botanic Gardens to being informed of the deterioration of a long-time friend, through to going to a catch-up BBQ with mates I haven’t seen in a long time and finishing off with the traditional Easter onslaught of chocolate.
In reality all these things probably deserve their own blog entry. Each have valuable life lessons and ongoing impact. But what I was hoping for in this Blog was a light hearted, thought provoking verbal mismatch. However, life isn’t always like that. Often, we end up with a mixed bag of emotions during any holiday period, and for me, this holiday period was no different.
My mindset has been up and down over the last couple of weeks. Persistent travel has allowed me to be distracted and not stick to all my daily goals, this has meant that I have been letting the crap excuses come back into my mindset that have always stopped me from making progress. In the past I would have blamed the disruptive nature of travelling all week for everything in feeling, but that’s not true. I’m to blame. I could have changed my schedule to make my travel movements or I could have made better use of my time.
So as the chaos of the Easter storm rolled in, I wasn’t really in the mood to play the game. I could have easily retreated into my own world of self loathing and resent. But that type of bullshit attitude isn’t fair on others and isn’t fair on myself neither. So, I put aside my ego and got on with it.
Easter Friday was a good day, as it should be being ‘Good Friday’. We decided to check out the botanical Gardens here in Brisbane and treated ourselves to the usual red meat lunch (we are such rebels). Given that it rained on us several times, including one time where we sheltered under a tree accompanied by a Water Dragon, we could have been excused from enjoying our time there, but that wasn’t the case. We persisted, enjoyed ourselves and came home grateful for the time spent out.
Easter Saturday was considerably more stressful. Later in the day we were to attend a BBQ where we would be catching up with many mates who we hadn’t seen in a long time. But first I read the news that a long-time friend, and someone who I admired dearly, was now on life support from the deteriorating effects of TBI and the associated issues that come with it. This has been something that has been developing over a long period of time and I’m still struggling to work out how I feel about it, so much so that I may never work it out.
Attending the Catch-up BBQ was another odd moment for me, I love catching up with my mates, especially those who I served with, but I always feel out of place. I’m about the only one in my circle who doesn’t drive anymore, so I find it difficult to connect with them the way I once did. I’m so out of practice of having a general conversation that I feel odd when I try to engage with general chit chat. Most of the time I just sit quietly and passively engage in conversations. This is a far cry from how I am in professional persona, where I’m generally the one striking up conversations. Although I struggled the whole night and gave myself a headache trying, I was still very happy to have attended the BBQ and had the time with my mates.
Easter Sunday was the usual affair: early wake up (although I ended up going back to bed to ease my now thoroughly entrenched migraine) to give the kids their Easter Eggs, general conglomerate of phone calls and messages from family followed by and Easter Egg Hunt. This year we decided to record the kids doing their Easter Egg Hunts, which was both amusing and painful to watch.
All in all, Easter was its usual Mixed Bucket of emotional Easter eggs. On the up side, things get better each year and I’m noticing a dramatic difference in how a go about such a full-on weekend.
My primary focus for now is to get my routine back in order and get my shit together for ANZAC Day, because this year it’s going to be rough, but more on that next week.
‘til next time…..Cheers!